Pie Day Friday, although officially non-partisan, has always been accused supporting filthy leftist causes, not least because of its popularity amongst filthy leftists.
Just last week, I was enjoying a spicy beef and red pepper in the local pie bar (a well-known hotbed of pievolutionary sentiment) when Cat Fences, Pie Day Friday’s resident pievolutionary and inflammatory pun artist, tossed a sheaf of fresh-from-the-oven pieproganda down next to my gravy boat.
Equal parts intrigued and hungry, I examined the hastily printed leaflets:
“What is the meaning of this?” I exclaimed, slamming my fist on the table and upsetting the gravy boat – a splodge of gravy fell onto the paper. I wasn’t really angry, but I learned long ago that Cat Fences responds extremely well to confrontation. “And why,” I added, affecting an air of intense disgust, “is it in Latin?”
“Everyone knows that Spanish is the most revolutionary language,” Cat Fences explained as I tucked into my pie, “and my school only offered Latin. It was the best I could do. And it means what it says. There’s a pievolution coming. The huddled masses will no longer stand for the monopopie in this country.”
Cat leant in closer, tried to steal a chip, and continued, “Did you know that only 1% of pierates control the entire Pie Day Friday movement?” She tapped the leaflets. “It’s time to seize the means of pieduction.”
I was still nonplussed. “What does Che Guevara have to do with this?”
“That’s not Che Guevara. That’s Neil – he makes the pies at the Fox and Frog.” Cat stood up – she never stayed in one place for very long, fearing that the university feds would catch up with her. “You have been warned, Rosamund M. Danny,” she said ominously. “You’ve had your finger in plenty of corrupt pies. It hasn’t gone unnoticed.”
I watched her leave, stack of flyers tucked under her arm. “Start in the Classics department,” I called just before the door slammed.